Failure – The Compost of Life

Failure.

It’s like this big

  ugly

monster

that we’re all trying to avoid…

But it’s everywhere.

No matter how hard we try, no matter how much we plan and prepare, failure has a way of sneaking up on us.

It seems to be woven into the fabric of our existence, an unwelcome, yet persistent, companion on our journey through life. 

As a mom… oh boy… the guilt is real. 

Like when your kid has a meltdown in the grocery store and everyone's staring and you're thinking, 

I'm the worst mom ever… 

Or when you forget to sign the permission slip and your kid misses out on something super cool. It's absolutely crushing. 

And don't even get me started on trying to be there for all three kids equally… forget it! Some days I feel like I'm failing them all. 

Motherhood doesn't come with a manual. We're just winging it, trying our best to raise these tiny humans into kind adults. 

But Society has this image of the perfect mom (you know her) – the one who always has it together, whose kids are always well-behaved, who manages to balance work and family life effortlessly (are you even human?!).

It's an impossible standard and yet we beat ourselves up for not meeting it.

And work? Missing deadlines, screwing up a big project, watching someone else get the promotion you so desperately wanted… It's like a punch to the gut.

You start questioning everything… am I even good at my job? Should I be doing something else? 

In the professional world, failure can feel like a very public humiliation. It's not really just about the task you didn't complete or the goal you didn't reach, it's about how you think others perceive you.

The fear of failure can be paralyzing, holding us back from taking risks or pursuing new opportunities. 

But failing as a human. That's the deep stuff.

Like when you snap at your husband after a long day, even though you know he’s stressed about the things he's got on his plate. Or when you bail on a friend because you're just too exhausted (sorry, not sorry). Or those moments when you look in the mirror and think what am I even doing with my life? 

These are the failures that cut to the core of who we are, making us question our values, our choices… our very identity.

It's all so heavy sometimes. We carry these failures around like massive weights letting them drag us down and hold us back. We obsess over them, replay them in our minds, use them as evidence of our inadequacy. 

But here's the thing – this struggle this constant battle with failure – it's not unique to you or me. 

It's a fundamental part of being human.

Think about it. 

From the moment we're born, we're on a journey of trial and error. 

We fall down countless times before we learn to walk. We babble nonsense before we form our first words. 

As we grow, the stakes get higher but the process remains the same. We try, we fail, we learn, and we try again. 

It's how we develop skills, gain knowledge, and build resistance. But somewhere along the line, we start to see failure as something to be avoided at all costs. 

We become risk-averse, choosing the safe path over a challenging one. 

We start to equate failures with unworthiness… as if making mistakes somehow diminishes our value as human beings. 

But what if we've got it all wrong?

I've been thinking a lot about this lately while I'm out running or tinkering in my garden. Maybe failure isn't this big bad wolf that we make it out to be. 

Maybe it's more like.. compost?.. stay with me here. 

When you're baking, sometimes you mess up. You burn the cookies or your bread doesn't rise (what a tragedy). But you learn from it, right? You adjust the temperature or maybe you try a different yeast. And next time, it's better. 

So maybe all these failures - as a mom, at work, as a person - they're just ingredients.

They eventually break down and they feed the soil of who we are, and from that soil, we grow. We become better moms, better at our jobs, better human beings. 

It's not easy. 

Sometimes it feels impossible. But when I'm out there in my garden watching things grow from nothing or when I'm on a long run and I push past what I thought was my limit I remember: We're resilient. We adopt. We keep going. 

The truth is, that failure is not the opposite of success. 

It's a part of success – every great achievement, every breakthrough, every moment of growth – is built on a foundation of failures. 

Think about all the failed experiments that led to life-changing discoveries. Consider all of the rejected manuscripts that preceded best-selling novels. All the missed shots that came before the game-winning shot. 

Embracing failure doesn't mean we stop striving for success. It doesn't mean we lower our standards or give up on our goals.

It means we approach life with a spirit of curiosity and openness. We see setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth. We cultivate compassion for ourselves and others, recognizing that we're all on this messy, imperfect journey together. 

As a Navy wife, I've learned that life is unpredictable… the only constant is change. Plans change, circumstances shift, and sometimes things fall apart despite our best efforts. 

But I've also learned that we're stronger and more capable than we often give ourselves credit for. We can weather storms, navigate uncharted waters, and find our way even when the path isn't clear. 

So yeah, failure sucks. It's messy and sometimes it really hurts. It's also the stuff that helps us bloom. It's the grit in the oyster that forms the pearl. It's the pressure that turns coal into diamonds. It's the force that shapes us, challenges us, and ultimately helps us become the best versions of ourselves. 

So next time you feel like you're failing – as a parent, a professional, or as a human being - remember this: 

You're not alone. 

You're not broken. 

You're not unworthy. 

You're simply human navigating this beautiful, messy, imperfect life the best way you know how. 

And that my friend, is more. than. enough.