The Empathy Muscle

One of the most healthy traits anyone can have is a well-developed ability to consider other perspectives.

Everyone has their own perspective. But in many instances, it’s a viewpoint informed by the bubble you occupy. Whether these perspectives were formed by nature or nurture, you owe it to yourself to burst that bubble.

Many people are happy to exist in the comfort of their bubble. It’s a familiar space that feels like a warm blanket. But, as with many things that feel too comfortable, it can be limiting.

Growth comes from getting at least a little bit uncomfortable. This is a rule I have found true in both personal relationships and in my career. Of course, doing things every day that make your spine shiver is no way to live. But is doing the same old stuff all day, every day any better?

I’d argue it isn’t – it’s boring. Instead, you need to find a happy medium of the two and mix the mundane with the maverick.

Bursting the Bubble

You have likely chosen to surround yourself with people a lot like yourself. This is natural. People are far more likely to choose a partner or a group of friends that have similar worldviews to their own. I certainly have, and you probably do too.

But.

You should also seek out people with different perspectives from your own. This not only informs your own perspectives, but it also helps you exercise your empathy muscle – something we should all do more.

My better half works for a housing nonprofit (she really is my better half). Recently, she went to a home celebration event: an event held to celebrate a family moving into a new home. The house was a newly renovated Victorian with a nice backyard in a decent part of town.

The family moving into this home had four children. They lived in a two-bedroom apartment in a housing project. They were immigrants and worked countless jobs to provide for their kids. In case this isn’t clear yet, they occupy a completely different world to you and I.

When she came home from the event, what stuck out to her was how obsessed the family’s tiny, adorable children had been with the stairs. There had been a whole party: cake, new toys, family photographs.

The kids just wanted to run up and down the stairs.

Because they’d never lived anywhere with stairs before.

This is the type of thing that pops your bubble, at least a little. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I am pretty privileged. Growing up, I never wanted for anything. Our house had stairs.

Considering how other people might see the world is an extremely healthy habit and helps you practice empathy. Empathy is a muscle, and the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.

This not only makes you a better person, it also makes you a more effective person.

Nice Story. So What?

If you, like me, do not possess a heart of gold and spend your time and talent helping people less fortunate than you, you’ll be pleased to hear that empathy is also extremely valuable in a professional sense. 

My job here at Winsome consists of a few key responsibilities: managing, consulting, coaching, and writing. In all of those areas, empathy is something of a superpower.

As a manager, the more empathy I have, the better a leader I can be for my team.

As a consultant, the more empathy I have, the better I can understand and address my client’s challenges.

As a coach, the more empathy I have, the better I can help someone overcome barriers and reach their goals.

And as a writer, the more empathy I have, the stronger the connection I can build with my audience.

I am sure you can see some way that being a more empathetic person would help you in your professional life, whatever that might be. 

The Catch

I’m not so sure empathy is teachable. You can’t really tell someone to be more empathetic: they have to want to be more empathetic, and not only that, they have to make a conscious effort to be empathetic. 

It’s a lot like working out, hence, our title: the empathy muscle.

Exercise your empathy muscle. 

Simply putting a few reps in trying to practice empathy every day is all you need to do to start seeing gains. Empathy can take many forms, but it starts with being a better listener, considering the perspectives of others, and making a conscious effort to burst your bubble. 

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