Thinking Beyond Your “Why”

If you are in the business world, you have undoubtedly heard of Simon Sinek. Even if you have never read his books, you have probably watched one of his infamous TEDTalks, or been exposed to his concept of “finding your why” thanks to TikTok’s algorithm.

Like many freelancers, I was drawn to the message. Sinek’s book Start With Why was a roadmap that helped me as I was getting started and I recommend reading it whether you are managing a small team or running your own business.

But I digress, you didn’t come here for Mark’s book of the month club.

After reading this book, and others like it, I was charged with a fresh approach and enthusiasm as I set off in search of my “why.”

What I found were additional questions that Sinek failed to answer. That’s right, I said it. He focused on one component and failed to address others that I uncovered over the course of the last few years.

Those questions – Who, What, When, and Where?

I’ll admit, I am not a thought leader, an industry leader, or otherwise. I am simply a freelance writer who has built my business from the ground up with the sweat of my own brow and the encouragement from my family and good friends.

My hope is that through my journey, I can help you answer these questions, or at the very least make you aware that you WILL have to answer them yourself eventually.

4 Questions After Why

If you aren’t familiar with the “why” I have been referring to, take a moment and watch this video. I can’t do the concept justice and it is not mine to tell.

What I can say is that it only addresses one fundamental question with regard to who we are and how we operate.

Question 1: Who?

“Who” can encompass a number of different things. It can be who will be your customers? Who will buy into you as a resource? Who should your marketing efforts target? The list could go on forever.

In my case, “who” simply refers to who I want to be as a person, a father, a husband, and a business owner. As you can imagine, it is a question that is relatively easy to answer, yet notoriously difficult to execute day in and day out.

My answer to this question was relatively simple – someone dependable. 

I don’t hold any delusions of grandeur. I will never be the husband of the year, father of the year, an industry thought leader, or win any prestigious business awards. But by focusing on dependability, I’ve found that I have improved in every area of my life, including business.

I am more present when spending time with my family, and more focused on helping my clients achieve their goals. While I could get more granular, keeping it as a broad theme allows me the flexibility needed to balance priorities and be more engaged when it matters most.

Admittedly this flies in the face of most goal-setting in the business world because it is not measurable. Tough cookies, only one person gets to define my “who” – me.

Question #2: What?

Like Who, What can be incredibly complex, especially when it comes to business. Having spent several years in the tech industry, I’m not a fan of complexity. I much prefer to get straight to the point.

For me “What” boils down to answering – What do I bring to the table?

We all have different skills, passions, and talents. In the early days of starting my freelancing career and building my business, I wanted to be everything that I could be to anyone who would take a chance on me.

That was exhausting.

I was pulled in so many different directions that it was hard to be the person who I wanted to be. The moment I took a step back, took stock of my strengths and weaknesses, and then had an honest conversation with myself about what I was truly good at, I realized that everything else took care of itself. 

My stress levels went away, which made my family life better, which in turn made me happier when working with clients. It is all interconnected. 

Question #3: When?

If you’ve dreamed of starting your own business, a new hobby, or a project around the house you likely know where I am going with the question of When.

It is like the age-old question: When is the best time to plant a tree? 20 years ago or today?

Here is a cold truth – we are never guaranteed tomorrow. As a life-long procrastinator, that has been a hard pill to swallow. However, to fulfill my Why, Who, and What, I know that I have to be present today and control what I can control.

I understand that you might not be in a position to start something new, but you can work toward it. Attend an online workshop, read a book, the list goes on and on. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they had to start sometime.

Question #4: Where?

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” It is a line that we have heard all of our lives. From our parents asking us as we graduate high school to potential employers as they assess our potential for mid-level management – if I could include a gross emoji here I would.

This question gives me visions of Bill Lumbergh from Office Space – my worst nightmare.

A few years ago, I chose to make a small change to this question and have never looked back.

My version → Where could you be in X amount of time?

It might sound like essentially the same question, but for me, it opens the door for more imagination. We are great at championing imagination in children, but it is all but abandoned once we are expected to be “responsible adults.” I knew that I could be both dependable and still dare to dream.

The fact is, I could be doing one of a million different things later in my life. I love opportunities to learn, explore, and grow, so why should I lock myself into a singular path? 

In many ways, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up and that excites me. It means that I can take chances, evolve, and find destinations that fit with my other fundamental questions in business and in life.

Finding Your Answers

This is the point in the article where I am supposed to impart some words of wisdom. For that, I am sorry to disappoint. I don’t have any cool graphics that show the intersection of each of these questions, or an exciting presentation about the Navy Seals, and I have never attended a TEDTalk, much less presented at a TEDx.

My hope is that by bringing these questions to the surface, you will be aware that they also need to be answered to find success and happiness in whatever you are doing.